I am not looking forward to tomorrow. I don’t want to put on a fake smile and greet customers all happy like. My grandma/mother died yesterday. I’m still shaken up by her death and seeing her body. I’m not ready for this. But I need the money. Maybe if I’m lucky, they’ll send me home early.
Me in the hospital with my little sister :) I decided to upload this one of me because you can see my injuries better. I have two stitches on my right eyebrow, a badly road burnt busted lip, road burnt nose, and a mild concussion. I also have badly scarred hands and it’s hard for me to hold/grip anything. My legs are only scarred at the knees. Everybody considers me lucky, which I am. Things could have been much worse and I wouldn’t be here. Even though I have no memory of the accident, it has truly opened my eyes. Never again will I contemplate the thought of suicide because I came pretty damn close to dying and I saw the love of my friends and family that I would’ve left behind me. I am slowly recovering. I am home and resting well but I still have severe headaches and difficulty walking. Maybe I’ll remember more someday. But let my experience show you how precious life is, my fellow followers. It truly is. And know I love you all :)
This is the third morning I’ve woke up crying from a dream of my grandma, Nana, dying. In each dream, she doesn’t just die from a disease or old age, but it’s always murder. I can’t really remember the first one but in the second one, my cousin, who I grew up with, and one of my coworkers murdered her, and I was trying to discover who bombed Nana’s hoel room in the third one (last night’s dream). I would understand it better if she were dying of natural causes, considering that’s my biggest fear right now ever since I lost Papa, but it’s the fact that it’s brutal murder scenes that is making me cry. I wish I could control my dreams when I want to.
My last grandfather, papa, has just passed away. After all the struggling he went through and torment, he is finally able to rest in peace. You will be missed very much papa :’( I just wish I could’ve been there when you passed instead of here in Georgia. I love you Papa.